hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
