I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
