tell your sister to shave her snatch
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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