she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
