did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
