I am puke
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
