is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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