I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
