I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
