Your dad touched me again.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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