THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Everyone says I win the strip club
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
