I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
