I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
