Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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