Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
