if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
