she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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