Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
