i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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