I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
