It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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