I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i barfeds in our rink
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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