Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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