Don't you send me to vm
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
