oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
