so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
