so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
