apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize