Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize