I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
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just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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