is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
