Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
