About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
