Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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