You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
