He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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