actually, I'm a sock model
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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