WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
