Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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