Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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