She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
