I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
