The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
