How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
