Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
