Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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