just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
