Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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