His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
