i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
