JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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