I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
thus making me awesome and them whores
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
