I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
