i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
