I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
