Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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