I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
