I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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