they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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