I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Less talking, more tequila
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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