You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
