You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
