thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
