How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
