I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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