omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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