too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
