Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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