did you get engaged???
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
