dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
